Emotional health check-ins can help kids develop strategies for managing their emotions. They’ll also help build supportive relationships between kids and their families, friends and teachers.
Ever ask how your child is doing and they give you the ultimate no-information response — "Fine"?
There are a lot of reasons kids, like adults, choose this simplistic answer. And for many families, the practice of stopping and actually checking in with each other's emotions may be new.
Emotional health check-ins take time and practice. But doing so builds strong relationships and communication, along with supporting your child's emotional well-being.
"Identifying emotions is important for social-emotional learning and a skill that young people will use for life," says Kate Endries, LMSW, National Director of Trauma-Informed Practice, Boys & Girls Clubs of America. "Some of the benefits include improved academic performance, decreased emotional distress, decreased behavior problems and increased positive attitudes."
Emotional check-ins can help kids learn to identify and express their emotions. Soon, they'll be able to recognize the full spectrum of emotions people can experience in a day — and have the coping skills to navigate highs and lows.
Emotional check-ins are a simple tool that youth, parents and teachers can use to pause, reflect and identify emotions. These intentional activities can be done one-on-one with your kid or in a group setting, like in a classroom or at the dinner table.
Check-ins can be formal and structured, or informal and on the fly. The important thing is you are helping kids to intentionally identify, reflect on and share their emotions.
Remember, emotional check-ins may not come naturally for everyone. Some people wear their heart on their sleeve and others need to do some digging to recognize how they're feeling. Plus, when you're a kid, learning "emotion words"— the vocabulary of how you're feeling — is all new.
Most importantly, for emotional check-ins to be successful you need to create a safe environment where kids can be vulnerable.
Just like anything, emotional check-ins get easier with practice.
There are many reasons why emotional health check-ins are important for kids and teens. Here are a few of the benefits:
Emotions check-ins provide fun, engaging ways to identify feelings. Here are some emotional check-in questions to get kids thinking about how they're feeling:
When using emotional check-ins, it is important to respond appropriately to what is shared.
If you had a busy night of activities planned, but your child just expressed they're going through some tough feelings, it might be valuable to shift your evening to spending time together, relaxing or relieving stress.
Adults don't need to jump into action or try to “fix” young people’s negative feelings — you just need to be there for your child, to listen and understand.
"If you sense your child is struggling with their mental or emotional health, find ways to express your concern in a calm and non-judgmental way," advises Endries. "This builds their trust in you as a safe person to discuss their feelings with, good and bad."
After emotions are expressed, it’s time to help your child learn how to keep their emotions in check. For managing intense emotions, here are some healthy coping mechanisms you can share and model with your child:
Boys & Girls Clubs of America provides mentorship, meals and meaningful life experiences to millions of young people across the nation. With over 5,000 locations across the nation, Boys & Girls Clubs are safe, inclusive places where kids can learn, grow and have fun. Join us on our mission of helping all young people reach their full potential:
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